Every time I step into Barnes & Noble it takes me a few hours to get out, although driving to Oakland and treasure-hunting in the store has become my routine on Sunday afternoons.
Last week, I noticed stacks of Best New American Voices 2005 with a reduced price of $4.99 in a quiet corner. What a waste. I truly hope some day people will appreciate something other than bespectacled wizards!
YI
Stuck on the damp bench, Wai tried to hold her fingers steady on her lap but the ten trembling little fellows kept sliding down.
The little girl who was sitting on the swing stretched her body to bring herself higher. Her long dark hair soared and then rested on her shoulders, and then flew in the air again as she swung forward. As the girl was having fun of her own, the iron chains made some eek eek sounds that made Choco climb onto Wai’s lap. She felt him shivering when she placed her hand on his white furry back.
Wai stared down and met the pair of innocent red eyes. How could the fate of a pure soul like him be determined by someone like Ka Yi?
“Bitch.” Wai whispered.
It had been two days since she had run away with Choco. The school uniform she was wearing had once been tidy and clean; but now it was stuck with dust and mud. She had itches all over her body. All the money she had taken with her was spent. Her stomach was empty that she could only feel the fluid inside.
Admit defeat? Not now. Never. It wasn’t her fault in the first place.
Ka Yi should never have shouted at her like that.
There was certainly nothing Ka Yi liked more than minding Wai’s business. For the fifteenth time, the tall image of Ka Yi two days ago emerged in her mind. Wai recalled the argument when she went home with Choco after school.Ka Yi was standing in the middle of the living room, her arms crossed in front of her chest, her suntan face dropped with a frown, her big dark eyes fixed on Choco as if they wanted to emit a laser beam to kill him.
“What’s with the rabbit?”
“Someone left it in the lift. I want to keep it.”
“No you can’t. Our house is too crowded already and we cannot afford a pet.”
“I will pay for all the expenses.”
“No. Think about it. Who’s going to clean up when it pees in the house?”
“I can do it!”
“Ha ha ha. Now our dear Miss Lui Ka Wai wants to do some housework!” Ka Yi stepped closer to Wai and shook her head, “but no, we can’t keep the rabbit.”
Wai gave her sister a fierce glare.
“You might as well give your eyes a break. The answer is no,” Ka Wai stayed firm. Behind the rimless glasses were her dark eyes, always reflecting false authority and rules and control, staring straight back at her.
“Ah!” Wai shouted and took a swing at Ka Yi.
Her fist was grabbed before it made its way to Ka Yi’s abdomen. Almost immediately, she was slapped across the face. Tears began to rush out of her eyes as her left cheek burnt. She turned around for the door.
“Hey….What do you think you’re doing?”
Wai ignored her sister’s question. She opened the iron gate of the flat and ran out to the lobby and entered the lift.
“Are you out of your mind? Hey! Hey!”
“Wai!!”
The doors closed. Wai’s ears could finally open.
Eeek.. Eek.. There came the awakening sounds from the present.
Wai seemed to hear Ka Yi’s creepy voice once again. She remembered when Ka Yi uttered the word “mind”, she was totally out of tune. She always spoke out of tune. That was why Wai always put her Walkman earphones on.
Choco had long stopped hopping. He was sitting there quietly and staring back at Wai.
If nobody fed him anything soon, he could die of hunger. She suddenly remembered that there was a bag of lettuce on top of the fridge back at home. How she wished she had taken that with her!
What had Mum cooked for dinner tonight? She had promised Wai to make her favourite dishes last week. Perhaps she had not cooked… She probably hadn’t. How could she possibly do anything when Wai had run away from home? All she would do was to sink in the sofa and cry. Every time Wai did something wrong, Mum cried. And whenever Wai apologized, she gave her an embrace and told her that it did not matter.
“What is the point?” asked Wai, lost in the image of Mum’s silver hair.
Standing up, she turned homeward.
Choco sneezed. Wai jerked.
The cruelty. The annoyance. Why would Ka Yi want to stand in her way every second? Who did she think she was, to be bossy to her sister and indifferent to an abandoned animal?
Wai held Choco closer to her chest. All of a sudden, the way Ka Yi held the wooden box under her bed flashed through her mind.
If Ka Yi had the right to steal Wai’s freedom, Wai had the right to steal stuff from her.
“That is only fair.” Wai accelerated her steps.
THREE
Kasey Wong is a name which will eventually appear in one of the Best New American Voices books. I never have a single doubt about that – because I know I am a gifted writer. I have been writing for four years. I got As in English when I was in high school. I have sharp observation and a brilliant imagination. I am constantly improving my
writing. I am willing to accept constructive criticisms.
I did not realize that almost all of the stories I’d written so far were completely fictional realistic stories until very recently. The teacher in a creative writing class told us to write a story based on our own experiences. That was quite a challenge, since my personal
life is incredibly, unbelievably boring. Barnes & Noble bookseller at Jack London Square, Oakland and my imaginative world are the only places where I can seem to find excitement. Sunday afternoons and my daily writing time are when I can find interest in my life.
Having in mind that other people’s lives were more dramatic to write about and the teacher would not investigate if it was really my own experience, I started writing a story for the class assignment.
SEI
Punching the key into the keyhole, Wai pushed the door to reveal the dark living room.
There was no time to waste. Wai hurried to the bedroom, switched on the light, put Choco on the floor and reached under Ka Yi’s bed. She was forbidden to even touch the box but… to hell with the brutal woman’s rules. There must be a lot of money being hidden in the box. Someone as boring as Ka Yi would not hide anything other than that.
Wai opened the box as soon as it was pulled out. There was no money inside but a few envelops with stamps that read USA. In the middle, they all said:
Ka Yi Lui
Flat 2113
On Mei House, Cheung On Estate
Tsing Yi, N.T.
Hong Kong
At the top left corners, they all said:
Andrew Wong
1480 Eagle Avenue
Alameda, CA 94501
“Who is Andrew Wong? Why did he write to Ka Yi?” Wai squinted. She picked up the envelope on the top.
Dear Ka Yi,
How are you? Haven’t heard from you for a while. I hope you’re fine. It has been a while since I came here. Everything is going well so far.
I finally got myself a license. My family is glad that I made it within such a short time. As I have told you, it is hard to go around without a car here. Hopefully we can get used to the life here quite soon. I want to tellThere is something I think I should tell you. My mother has been insisting on getting me and her friend’s daughter engaged. I kept saying no but she never gave up. So I just said yes yesterday. I still love you…but you haven’t written to me for six months already. Sorry, I don’t want my parents to decide everything but it seems to be the only way out.
Please write to me soon.
Yours, Andrew
What on earth was that? As far as Wai remembered, there was not an Andrew on Ka Yi’s list of ex-boyfriends. But this, this was obviously a love letter and Ka Yi had been hiding it.
She picked up the second envelope.
Dear Ka Yi,
What’s up? Things are good here.
It was spring break last week and our family went to New York. We visited the Statue of Liberty, Bronx Zoo, the Central Park, Times Square and Wall Street. New York is beauti so cool. I’ve attached a postcard I got from there. Some day we should go there together! =)
School is about to start again. Hopefully I’m doing better in the next semester. Mum is pushing me hard. She said if I wanted to go to UC Berkeley, I must improve my English. You should also work hard for the HKCEE. I think you can make it!
To answer your question, I think ‘Wai’ is a good name for a child because it means ‘clever’. ‘Yan’ is not as good, I think, because it just means ‘happy’. Being clever is better than just being happy. But it is just my opinion, you can tell your aunt to ignore that.
Mum just called me to have dinner. I must go. Love you. Please write back.
Please write to me soon.
Yours, Andrew
“Now that’s absurd,” Wai thought, “we don’t even talk to any of our aunts.” And this Andrew talked bullshit. Being clever was no better than being happy. In fact it was much worse. Ignorance is bliss. Intelligence is a curse. The more you see about the world, the more
you hate it.
Dear Ka Yi,
……………
Yours, Andrew
FIVE
gave me a big cross after reading my story, with a big question:
What is the FOCUS?
Also, the narrator seems like a total outsider in
the story who doesn’t know what is going on.
Try to work with the characters’ emotions.
Writing is not that hard, is it? I’m still a decent writer?
LUK
Wai investigated the postmarks carefully. The letters were all written in the late 80s and early 90s, when Ka Yi was still a teenager. Andrew Wong was probably her lover then.
Reaching for the bottom of the box, Wai noticed a corner of a piece of thick pink paper. She pulled the corner and saw the old Hong Kong arms with the British crown on it, below the arms printed the words ‘Birth Certificate’. Beneath them Wai saw her own name – three big Chinese characters vertically written in black.
Then she saw other three big Chinese characters also written that way: “Lui”, “Ka” and “Yi”, in a box that said MOTHER.
Wai’s mind went blank, like the box that said FATHER. She would like to think that it was some kind of a joke – but she couldn’t, nor could she really think of anything. She didn’t want to believe it. But it was written in black and white and it made perfect sense – Ka Yi was sixteen years older and Mum and Dad were in their late sixties.
Overwhelmed, she held the paper and waited as she was turning into a statue. She did not hear the door being opened and the feet walking near where she was.
Someone opened the door of Ka Yi’s room.
“Wai! What the hell are yo…” Ka Yi gasped, “…doing.”
Ka Yi suddenly lost her strength that she had to lean on the door rim. The pink paper was shaking in the air, so was the hand that held it. In her uniform which was stained, Wai was sitting on the floor motionless. Her empty eyes fixed on the three characters “Lui”, “Ka”
and “Yi”.
“Why?” Wai threw a word as the three characters became blurry. Ka Yi couldn’t answer. She turned around and saw her mother, eyes wide opened and a hand over her mouth.
“Why!” Wai snarled as she stood up to throw the paper at Ka Yi.
The rewind button was pressed, fragments of memory ran around in Ka Yi’s brain. Andrew’s awkward smile, their first kiss, his heavy suitcase, baby Wai’s fragile fingers. Everything that had seemed pleasant all popped up and became unbearable. Her head was going to blow.
She gathered a little energy and walked to the door.
She opened it.
She left.
Everybody wished they had a slight idea of what was happening.
SEVEN
According to m-w.com, one of the definitions of focus is “a center of activity, attraction, or attention.” If a good story needs to have a focus, it probably means that it must have a certain point to direct readers’ attention to.
Bearing in mind the definition of a focus, I read through my past works. And I find most of them focusless.
BAAT
Love once was forever to her.
“Andrew was Ka Yi’s classmate in Secondary Four. He made a rose bookmark and gave it to Ka Yi on her fifteenth birthday. She had fallen in love with him since then.”
Not their age, not their parents, not their teachers, not their studies… She thought nothing could stand between their affections.
However, something did destroy their love. A year after they have been seeing each other, Andrew’s family emigrated to the U.S.A. It was also when Ka Yi discovered that she was pregnant.
“She was ashamed of herself. She didn’t want to tell anyone about the baby. She only told us about that when she could no longer hide her big tummy.”
“But why?”
“She wanted to continue her study so she went back to school after giving birth to you. I promised her to take care of you.”
“Why must you lie to me?”
“Trust me. We didn’t intend to lie to you.”
“But you did.”
“Ka Yi wanted you to grow up in a healthy family.”
Wai stared at Mum, whom she just realized was her grandmother. “Does all this make her happy now?”
Mum sighed and put a hand on Wai’s shoulder. “We love you all the same. This, I am sure, doesn’t change.”
Before she burst into tears, Wai quickly hugged her grandmother so that she wouldn’t see her cry. She buried her head in the warmest and softest skin in the world.
“Sor nui.” Mum took Wai’s hand gently and slowly led her to the bathroom. “Wash your face. We will look for Ka Yi together.”
NINE
“Kasey, a writer’s road is long and rough.” My father looks up from today’s San Francisco Chronicle.
“Dare to dream when you’re young. Don’t give up easily. I gave up a lot when I was young. Now all I can do is to regret.” He puts down the newspaper and continues. “I knew you were gifted when you were born. That’s why I’ve bought you so many books.”
“I don’t know how to solve my problems.”
He rubs the back of my head. “Go out and explore and enrich yourself. If you cannot find your focus here, find it somewhere else.”
He signs a cheque and books an air ticket to Hong Kong during my spring break.
“Go to Hong Kong, your mother and I were born there. I have an old acquaintance there too. I can write to her and see if she can help.” He quickly starts to scribble on a paper.
ZUP
The thin shadow of Ka Yi sat on the bench. She was looking at her shivering fingers. She always had troubles making them steady when she was nervous. The tears on her face were dried and now they itched. The swing stood still in front of her. She was all alone in the park. Fifteen years ago, she was sitting on the same bench but at that time she had baby Wai sleeping in her arms.
“Ay.” Ka Yi felt someone sitting next to her. “It is freezing here. Go home.” It was Wai.
Ka Yi did not turn to look at her. “Sorry.” Wai whispered.
Trying to hold back her tears, Ka Yi shook her head hard.
“Don’t ‘no’ la. Come home with me. Mum and Dad, and I, and Choco are waiting for you.” Wai reached out her hand.
11
When I step into the Arrival Hall B, I immediately notice a big card with my full name “KASEY WONG”.
I walk closer and study the girl who is holding it. She is tall and slim, about four or five years older than me. Her long curly hair falls upon her shoulders. Her face is pink, reflecting vitality. She waves when she sees me approaching.
“Welcome.” She greets.
“I’m Kasey.” I send a smile.
“You can call me Wai.” She returns a smile and offer to help me with one of my suitcases.
Wai brings me to the Airport bus terminal, we stand at the bus station for route A31, which heads to a place called ‘Tsuen Wan (Discovery Park)’.
“I actually live in a place called Tsing Yi. We will go there first and let you meet my mother, your father’s friend. So we are going to get off the bus at the first station after Tsing Ma Bridge.”
“Tsing Ma Bridge.”
“Yes.”
“…Wai, what do you do?”
“I’m a student in the Chinese University of Hong Kong, major in Physics.”
“Oh I see. Erm…”
“Why?
“Just curious. Do you know anything about focus?”
“Well, the focus in optics means a point where images can be seen clearly.”
We get on the bus.
“Focus is where everything is clear?” I ask again.
“You could say that.” She smiles again.
Because of my luggage, we need to sit in the lower deck. We sit opposite to each other. I am dozing off when Wai taps my shoulder.
“We are on Tsing Ma Bridge.”
Tsing Ma Bridge isn’t as marvelous as I thought it would be. It is like a new version of the Golden Gate Bridge. But somehow I like it.
“I like how clean and neat it looks.” I say to Wai. She nods. The bus continues its way on the Tsang Ma Bridge.
We exchanges glances, and immediately feel a connection. She smiles at me. I pick up my lenses, and begin to construct a story of Lui Ka Wai, my half sister, in my deepest reverie.
The sea below,
the sky above.
The view in the front window is ever so clear.
Growing Clear
ONE
Every time I step into Barnes & Noble it takes me a few hours to get out, although driving to Oakland and treasure-hunting in the store has become my routine on Sunday afternoons.
Last week, I noticed stacks of Best New American Voices 2005 with a reduced price of $4.99 in a quiet corner. What a waste. I truly hope some day people will appreciate something other than bespectacled wizards!
YI
Stuck on the damp bench, Wai tried to hold her fingers steady on her lap but the ten trembling little fellows kept sliding down.
The little girl who was sitting on the swing stretched her body to bring herself higher. Her long dark hair soared and then rested on her shoulders, and then flew in the air again as she swung forward. As the girl was having fun of her own, the iron chains made some eek eek sounds that made Choco climb onto Wai’s lap. She felt him shivering when she placed her hand on his white furry back.
Wai stared down and met the pair of innocent red eyes. How could the fate of a pure soul like him be determined by someone like Ka Yi?
“Bitch.” Wai whispered.
It had been two days since she had run away with Choco. The school uniform she was wearing had once been tidy and clean; but now it was stuck with dust and mud. She had itches all over her body. All the money she had taken with her was spent. Her stomach was empty that she could only feel the fluid inside.
Admit defeat? Not now. Never. It wasn’t her fault in the first place.
Ka Yi should never have shouted at her like that.
There was certainly nothing Ka Yi liked more than minding Wai’s business. For the fifteenth time, the tall image of Ka Yi two days ago emerged in her mind. Wai recalled the argument when she went home with Choco after school.Ka Yi was standing in the middle of the living room, her arms crossed in front of her chest, her suntan face dropped with a frown, her big dark eyes fixed on Choco as if they wanted to emit a laser beam to kill him.
“What’s with the rabbit?”
“Someone left it in the lift. I want to keep it.”
“No you can’t. Our house is too crowded already and we cannot afford a pet.”
“I will pay for all the expenses.”
“No. Think about it. Who’s going to clean up when it pees in the house?”
“I can do it!”
“Ha ha ha. Now our dear Miss Lui Ka Wai wants to do some housework!” Ka Yi stepped closer to Wai and shook her head, “but no, we can’t keep the rabbit.”
Wai gave her sister a fierce glare.
“You might as well give your eyes a break. The answer is no,” Ka Wai stayed firm. Behind the rimless glasses were her dark eyes, always reflecting false authority and rules and control, staring straight back at her.
“Ah!” Wai shouted and took a swing at Ka Yi.
Her fist was grabbed before it made its way to Ka Yi’s abdomen. Almost immediately, she was slapped across the face. Tears began to rush out of her eyes as her left cheek burnt. She turned around for the door.
“Hey….What do you think you’re doing?”
Wai ignored her sister’s question. She opened the iron gate of the flat and ran out to the lobby and entered the lift.
“Are you out of your mind? Hey! Hey!”
“Wai!!”
The doors closed. Wai’s ears could finally open.
Eeek.. Eek.. There came the awakening sounds from the present.
Wai seemed to hear Ka Yi’s creepy voice once again. She remembered when Ka Yi uttered the word “mind”, she was totally out of tune. She always spoke out of tune. That was why Wai always put her Walkman earphones on.
Choco had long stopped hopping. He was sitting there quietly and staring back at Wai.
If nobody fed him anything soon, he could die of hunger. She suddenly remembered that there was a bag of lettuce on top of the fridge back at home. How she wished she had taken that with her!
What had Mum cooked for dinner tonight? She had promised Wai to make her favourite dishes last week. Perhaps she had not cooked… She probably hadn’t. How could she possibly do anything when Wai had run away from home? All she would do was to sink in the sofa and cry. Every time Wai did something wrong, Mum cried. And whenever Wai apologized, she gave her an embrace and told her that it did not matter.
“What is the point?” asked Wai, lost in the image of Mum’s silver hair.
Standing up, she turned homeward.
Choco sneezed. Wai jerked.
The cruelty. The annoyance. Why would Ka Yi want to stand in her way every second? Who did she think she was, to be bossy to her sister and indifferent to an abandoned animal?
Wai held Choco closer to her chest. All of a sudden, the way Ka Yi held the wooden box under her bed flashed through her mind.
If Ka Yi had the right to steal Wai’s freedom, Wai had the right to steal stuff from her.
“That is only fair.” Wai accelerated her steps.
THREE
Kasey Wong is a name which will eventually appear in one of the Best New American Voices books. I never have a single doubt about that – because I know I am a gifted writer. I have been writing for four years. I got As in English when I was in high school. I have sharp observation and a brilliant imagination. I am constantly improving my
writing. I am willing to accept constructive criticisms.
I did not realize that almost all of the stories I’d written so far were completely fictional realistic stories until very recently. The teacher in a creative writing class told us to write a story based on our own experiences. That was quite a challenge, since my personal
life is incredibly, unbelievably boring. Barnes & Noble bookseller at Jack London Square, Oakland and my imaginative world are the only places where I can seem to find excitement. Sunday afternoons and my daily writing time are when I can find interest in my life.
Having in mind that other people’s lives were more dramatic to write about and the teacher would not investigate if it was really my own experience, I started writing a story for the class assignment.
SEI
Punching the key into the keyhole, Wai pushed the door to reveal the dark living room.
There was no time to waste. Wai hurried to the bedroom, switched on the light, put Choco on the floor and reached under Ka Yi’s bed. She was forbidden to even touch the box but… to hell with the brutal woman’s rules. There must be a lot of money being hidden in the box. Someone as boring as Ka Yi would not hide anything other than that.
Wai opened the box as soon as it was pulled out. There was no money inside but a few envelops with stamps that read USA. In the middle, they all said:
Ka Yi LuiFlat 2113
On Mei House, Cheung On Estate
Tsing Yi, N.T.
Hong Kong
At the top left corners, they all said:
Andrew Wong1480 Eagle Avenue
Alameda, CA 94501
“Who is Andrew Wong? Why did he write to Ka Yi?” Wai squinted. She picked up the envelope on the top.
Dear Ka Yi,
How are you? Haven’t heard from you for a while. I hope you’re fine. It has been a while since I came here. Everything is going well so far.
I finally got myself a license. My family is glad that I made it within such a short time. As I have told you, it is hard to go around without a car here. Hopefully we can get used to the life here quite soon.
I want to tellThere is something I think I should tell you. My mother has been insisting on getting me and her friend’s daughter engaged. I kept saying no but she never gave up. So I just said yes yesterday. I still love you…but you haven’t written to me for six months already. Sorry, I don’t want my parents to decide everything but it seems to be the only way out.Please write to me soon.
Yours, Andrew
What on earth was that? As far as Wai remembered, there was not an Andrew on Ka Yi’s list of ex-boyfriends. But this, this was obviously a love letter and Ka Yi had been hiding it.
She picked up the second envelope.
Dear Ka Yi,
What’s up? Things are good here.
It was spring break last week and our family went to New York. We visited the Statue of Liberty, Bronx Zoo, the Central Park, Times Square and Wall Street. New York is
beautiso cool. I’ve attached a postcard I got from there. Some day we should go there together! =)School is about to start again. Hopefully I’m doing better in the next semester. Mum is pushing me hard. She said if I wanted to go to UC Berkeley, I must improve my English. You should also work hard for the HKCEE. I think you can make it!
To answer your question, I think ‘Wai’ is a good name for a child because it means ‘clever’. ‘Yan’ is not as good, I think, because it just means ‘happy’. Being clever is better than just being happy. But it is just my opinion, you can tell your aunt to ignore that.
Mum just called me to have dinner. I must go. Love you. Please write back.
Please write to me soon.
Yours, Andrew
“Now that’s absurd,” Wai thought, “we don’t even talk to any of our aunts.” And this Andrew talked bullshit. Being clever was no better than being happy. In fact it was much worse. Ignorance is bliss. Intelligence is a curse. The more you see about the world, the more
you hate it.
Dear Ka Yi,
……………
Yours, Andrew
FIVE
gave me a big cross after reading my story, with a big question:
What is the FOCUS?
Also, the narrator seems like a total outsider in
the story who doesn’t know what is going on.
Try to work with the characters’ emotions.
Writing is not that hard, is it? I’m still a decent writer?
LUK
Wai investigated the postmarks carefully. The letters were all written in the late 80s and early 90s, when Ka Yi was still a teenager. Andrew Wong was probably her lover then.
Reaching for the bottom of the box, Wai noticed a corner of a piece of thick pink paper. She pulled the corner and saw the old Hong Kong arms with the British crown on it, below the arms printed the words ‘Birth Certificate’. Beneath them Wai saw her own name – three big Chinese characters vertically written in black.
Then she saw other three big Chinese characters also written that way: “Lui”, “Ka” and “Yi”, in a box that said MOTHER.
Wai’s mind went blank, like the box that said FATHER. She would like to think that it was some kind of a joke – but she couldn’t, nor could she really think of anything. She didn’t want to believe it. But it was written in black and white and it made perfect sense – Ka Yi was sixteen years older and Mum and Dad were in their late sixties.
Overwhelmed, she held the paper and waited as she was turning into a statue. She did not hear the door being opened and the feet walking near where she was.
Someone opened the door of Ka Yi’s room.
“Wai! What the hell are yo…” Ka Yi gasped, “…doing.”
Ka Yi suddenly lost her strength that she had to lean on the door rim. The pink paper was shaking in the air, so was the hand that held it. In her uniform which was stained, Wai was sitting on the floor motionless. Her empty eyes fixed on the three characters “Lui”, “Ka”
and “Yi”.
“Why?” Wai threw a word as the three characters became blurry. Ka Yi couldn’t answer. She turned around and saw her mother, eyes wide opened and a hand over her mouth.
“Why!” Wai snarled as she stood up to throw the paper at Ka Yi.
The rewind button was pressed, fragments of memory ran around in Ka Yi’s brain. Andrew’s awkward smile, their first kiss, his heavy suitcase, baby Wai’s fragile fingers. Everything that had seemed pleasant all popped up and became unbearable. Her head was going to blow.
She gathered a little energy and walked to the door.
She opened it.
She left.
Everybody wished they had a slight idea of what was happening.
SEVEN
According to m-w.com, one of the definitions of focus is “a center of activity, attraction, or attention.” If a good story needs to have a focus, it probably means that it must have a certain point to direct readers’ attention to.
Bearing in mind the definition of a focus, I read through my past works. And I find most of them focusless.
BAAT
Love once was forever to her.
“Andrew was Ka Yi’s classmate in Secondary Four. He made a rose bookmark and gave it to Ka Yi on her fifteenth birthday. She had fallen in love with him since then.”
Not their age, not their parents, not their teachers, not their studies… She thought nothing could stand between their affections.
However, something did destroy their love. A year after they have been seeing each other, Andrew’s family emigrated to the U.S.A. It was also when Ka Yi discovered that she was pregnant.
“She was ashamed of herself. She didn’t want to tell anyone about the baby. She only told us about that when she could no longer hide her big tummy.”
“But why?”
“She wanted to continue her study so she went back to school after giving birth to you. I promised her to take care of you.”
“Why must you lie to me?”
“Trust me. We didn’t intend to lie to you.”
“But you did.”
“Ka Yi wanted you to grow up in a healthy family.”
Wai stared at Mum, whom she just realized was her grandmother. “Does all this make her happy now?”
Mum sighed and put a hand on Wai’s shoulder. “We love you all the same. This, I am sure, doesn’t change.”
Before she burst into tears, Wai quickly hugged her grandmother so that she wouldn’t see her cry. She buried her head in the warmest and softest skin in the world.
“Sor nui.” Mum took Wai’s hand gently and slowly led her to the bathroom. “Wash your face. We will look for Ka Yi together.”
NINE
“Kasey, a writer’s road is long and rough.” My father looks up from today’s San Francisco Chronicle.
“Dare to dream when you’re young. Don’t give up easily. I gave up a lot when I was young. Now all I can do is to regret.” He puts down the newspaper and continues. “I knew you were gifted when you were born. That’s why I’ve bought you so many books.”
“I don’t know how to solve my problems.”
He rubs the back of my head. “Go out and explore and enrich yourself. If you cannot find your focus here, find it somewhere else.”
He signs a cheque and books an air ticket to Hong Kong during my spring break.
“Go to Hong Kong, your mother and I were born there. I have an old acquaintance there too. I can write to her and see if she can help.” He quickly starts to scribble on a paper.
ZUP
The thin shadow of Ka Yi sat on the bench. She was looking at her shivering fingers. She always had troubles making them steady when she was nervous. The tears on her face were dried and now they itched. The swing stood still in front of her. She was all alone in the park. Fifteen years ago, she was sitting on the same bench but at that time she had baby Wai sleeping in her arms.
“Ay.” Ka Yi felt someone sitting next to her. “It is freezing here. Go home.” It was Wai.
Ka Yi did not turn to look at her. “Sorry.” Wai whispered.
Trying to hold back her tears, Ka Yi shook her head hard.
“Don’t ‘no’ la. Come home with me. Mum and Dad, and I, and Choco are waiting for you.” Wai reached out her hand.
11
When I step into the Arrival Hall B, I immediately notice a big card with my full name “KASEY WONG”.
I walk closer and study the girl who is holding it. She is tall and slim, about four or five years older than me. Her long curly hair falls upon her shoulders. Her face is pink, reflecting vitality. She waves when she sees me approaching.
“Welcome.” She greets.
“I’m Kasey.” I send a smile.
“You can call me Wai.” She returns a smile and offer to help me with one of my suitcases.
Wai brings me to the Airport bus terminal, we stand at the bus station for route A31, which heads to a place called ‘Tsuen Wan (Discovery Park)’.
“I actually live in a place called Tsing Yi. We will go there first and let you meet my mother, your father’s friend. So we are going to get off the bus at the first station after Tsing Ma Bridge.”
“Tsing Ma Bridge.”
“Yes.”
“…Wai, what do you do?”
“I’m a student in the Chinese University of Hong Kong, major in Physics.”
“Oh I see. Erm…”
“Why?
“Just curious. Do you know anything about focus?”
“Well, the focus in optics means a point where images can be seen clearly.”
We get on the bus.
“Focus is where everything is clear?” I ask again.
“You could say that.” She smiles again.
Because of my luggage, we need to sit in the lower deck. We sit opposite to each other. I am dozing off when Wai taps my shoulder.
“We are on Tsing Ma Bridge.”
Tsing Ma Bridge isn’t as marvelous as I thought it would be. It is like a new version of the Golden Gate Bridge. But somehow I like it.
“I like how clean and neat it looks.” I say to Wai. She nods. The bus continues its way on the Tsang Ma Bridge.
We exchanges glances, and immediately feel a connection. She smiles at me. I pick up my lenses, and begin to construct a story of Lui Ka Wai, my half sister, in my deepest reverie.
The sea below,
the sky above.
The view in the front window is ever so clear.