Another very random thought post. 
In the past few days I have been thinking of quite a few things regarding real life. It was basically triggered by bold steps taken by acquaintances, going in the direction I hope to go. Upon hearing those people’s decisions, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Is there something I’m doing wrong here? Those people come from similar background, why were they able to make decisions I can’t make?”
Reflecting on different aspects of my life, there has always been a gap between “what Melody wants to do” and “what Melody can do/what Melody is doing”. Trying to narrow down that gap can be extremely stressful at times. There are times that I lie down and think, “Hey, why don’t I just quit my job and pursue a writing career already?” “Why don’t I just leave here and get a single air ticket to live with my boyfriend?” “Why don’t I get a loan and go back and do a master degree in the UK?” While there’re few things I’d love more than to be able to do those, I simply could not just do any of that. In the past few days, I caught myself thinking, “am I not brave enough?”
My conclusion? In no way am I hinting that this applies to other people who make bold decisions, but at least for me, ignoring the gap and just take a leap is not about bravery, it is selfishness.
In this world filled with people, it’s all interactive dynamics1. Every decision you make affects others in some way, especially those who are close to you. Disregarding that fact and just go with whatever you want to do, is at best a tad unrealistic, at worse selfish and self-centered. A responsible adult makes decisions based on a number of considerations, it’s no denying that it enhances aging, but it’s always how it should be done. For example, if I just give up my job, with no stable income, am I going to make my parents look after me? And if I just fly to my boyfriend, which I think he’d not have a problem with, am I going to live off him? If by taking the “brave” steps, I actually end up making people’s life more difficult. Would I ever be happy? I really don’t believe so. One would have to have utterly heartless to be.
So now we still have a chicken Melody, but she is very proud that she hasn’t let the temptation win. For people who have made the big decisions, I wish the best for them. However, I won’t get too jealous that I forget to work things out in my own pace. I want things, but I want them in the nicest way possible, hopefully for people I care deeply about too.
PS. God, am I righteous or what. 
- No, I don’t know what I am talking about [↩]
4 Comments
But in the same breath, if you don’t take those leaps (assuming of course that you’ve thought them through and they aren’t just rash decisions for the heck of it), will you still be happy with yourself, and at the end of the day, will you regret not following your dreams? It’s a bit of a two-sided coin, eh. On the one hand, there’s being responsible and considerate, but on the other, being bold and following your dreams. I think you have to have a little bit of the two.
But that’s just me.
I think there’s a middle ground. It was probably a bit selfish of me to decide to move to Boston on almost no job and with no savings, but it forced me to get my shit together, and I pulled it off. I say, take a few things into consideration, and then go for it.
One way ticket to Europe? Build up a bit of savings to live off of, and hit the skies. As just one example.
No offense, but ultimately, there are people who go for it, and people who explain things away. And I feel as though if you go through life explaining away why you’re not doing things, then you didn’t really want them in the first place.
Haha, sorry, that probably came off meaner than I meant it too!
I allways say (ok not always) ‘there are more roads that lead to Rome’. Some people just dive into things, some people never do a thing to reach their dreams and others … well they work hard and slowly but surely reach it eventually (me I hope).
I’m a person that thinks too much at times. I’m not stuck in the whole thinking process, but I still think a lot before taking a decision. Planning .. there’s nothing wrong with that. I like to be prepared. But being prepared doesn’t mean you won’t get anywhere. People who just quit their jobs, do their stuff and hope for the best – are not brave imho, I don’t think their selfish either. Maybe a little stupid.
I think a brave person looks at all the good & bad points of a decision and works hard to take those bad points out of the equation. Everybody can make big decisions, but the most important thing is the plan that comes out of it. The way you want to achieve your dream.. and hey if it takes a little longer, don’t worry about that.
Ok sorry maybe this was a little “blahblah” … I just had breakfast so my mind may still be fuzzy. Oh I also wanted to let you know I hopped domains to elocutio.nu